Comments on: Cohabitation: The Final Frontier? http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/ Dissecting What You Choose to Ignore Tue, 25 Oct 2011 04:29:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Emilia Liz http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-329 Emilia Liz Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:11:22 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-329 Dear lh, Thank you for your comment. Sorry to have gotten back to you so late; I didn't think I would get any more comments on my articles! I understand what you are saying in your post about cohabitation per se leading to a higher divorce rate among cohabitors who do marry. However, I believe scientific studies show it's not so much the cohabitation per se that leads to these higher divorce rates but the fact that cohabitors are less traditional in general than those who went into marriage directly and thus more open to divorce. Still, I agree that maybe the two partners in a cohabiting relationship should clear what their intentions are before moving in together. Dear lh,

Thank you for your comment. Sorry to have gotten back to you so late; I didn’t think I would get any more comments on my articles!

I understand what you are saying in your post about cohabitation per se leading to a higher divorce rate among cohabitors who do marry. However, I believe scientific studies show it’s not so much the cohabitation per se that leads to these higher divorce rates but the fact that cohabitors are less traditional in general than those who went into marriage directly and thus more open to divorce. Still, I agree that maybe the two partners in a cohabiting relationship should clear what their intentions are before moving in together.

]]> By: lh http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-328 lh Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:53:17 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-328 As mentioned, stats show that marriages that follow cohabitation break up more often that marriages that were not preceded by cohabitation. Why?? Some expectations about cohabitation are not reality based. Just because you're living in, doesn't mean that your partner will be open with you. Cohabiting may provide a false sense of security during what should be a phase of "courtship" when both parties' should be more skeptical. Moving out is a bigger adjustment than slowing down a dating relationship, so cohabiting people may be less likely to draw away and may drift into a marriage that is no longer a conscious choice. If dating you are likely to find a new partner more easier than if you are cohabiting. Sometimes cohabiting partners have different beliefs about cohabitation, for example one partner thinks it is a trial marriage and the other thinks it is a convenient relationship until they are ready for marriage. Values and habits might be indications of what a longer marriage will be like, better than depending on behavior during a period of cohabitation. A partner who overwhelms by debate points (it's practical) or subtle name calling (everyone does it) in an attempt to persuade you to cohabit, does not understand jointly beneficial decision making that is part of many long term relationships. Some people are not emotionally suited to the long periods of relationship instability that are part of cohabitation. Where is the research that compares the pre-marriage relationships of those whose marriages last and those whose marriages don't? Or are research results just too politically incorrect to talk about? Each person should have the information to make an informed choice. As mentioned, stats show that marriages that follow cohabitation break up more often that marriages that were not preceded by cohabitation. Why?? Some expectations about cohabitation are not reality based. Just because you’re living in, doesn’t mean that your partner will be open with you. Cohabiting may provide a false sense of security during what should be a phase of “courtship” when both parties’ should be more skeptical. Moving out is a bigger adjustment than slowing down a dating relationship, so cohabiting people may be less likely to draw away and may drift into a marriage that is no longer a conscious choice. If dating you are likely to find a new partner more easier than if you are cohabiting. Sometimes cohabiting partners have different beliefs about cohabitation, for example one partner thinks it is a trial marriage and the other thinks it is a convenient relationship until they are ready for marriage. Values and habits might be indications of what a longer marriage will be like, better than depending on behavior during a period of cohabitation. A partner who overwhelms by debate points (it’s practical) or subtle name calling (everyone does it) in an attempt to persuade you to cohabit, does not understand jointly beneficial decision making that is part of many long term relationships. Some people are not emotionally suited to the long periods of relationship instability that are part of cohabitation. Where is the research that compares the pre-marriage relationships of those whose marriages last and those whose marriages don’t? Or are research results just too politically incorrect to talk about? Each person should have the information to make an informed choice.

]]> By: Emilia Liz http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-327 Emilia Liz Thu, 22 Nov 2007 17:36:32 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-327 Dear Asnath, Thank you. If you could send me your research paper at emilia_e_murphy@yahoo.ca, I would be pleased to read it. Emilia Dear Asnath,

Thank you. If you could send me your research paper at emilia_e_murphy@yahoo.ca, I would be pleased to read it.

Emilia

]]> By: asnath msaaki http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-326 asnath msaaki Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:47:10 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-326 i have gone through it,its very helpfuly in my research paper,congrats for the one who wrote. i have gone through it,its very helpfuly in my research paper,congrats for the one who wrote.

]]> By: Cynics Unlimited » Does Canadian Taxation Discriminate Against Marriage? http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-325 Cynics Unlimited » Does Canadian Taxation Discriminate Against Marriage? Sun, 23 Sep 2007 22:07:23 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-325 [...] Cynics Unlimited: “Cohabitation - The Final Frontier”? [...] [...] Cynics Unlimited: “Cohabitation – The Final Frontier”? [...]

]]> By: Venu http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-324 Venu Tue, 03 Apr 2007 15:39:07 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-324 Hi All, This is venu. I have gone through this site and i found that this site was provides the information about the divorce and it's related to family law and marriages. <a href="http://divorcelawyers.com/divorce_tips.asp" rel="nofollow">divorce society</a> Hi All,
This is venu.
I have gone through this site and i found that this site was provides the information about the divorce and it’s related to family law and marriages.
divorce society

]]> By: samitha http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-323 samitha Wed, 21 Mar 2007 21:42:00 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-323 This site deals with the divorce lawyers related to thoughts on divorce cases and greater risk of divorce if the relationship eventually leads to marriage, more domestic violence,actually reduced the chance of divorce by acting as a “filter” whereby future spouses could discover whether or not they were compatible. <a href="http://www.divorcelawyers.com" rel="nofollow">divorce thoughts</a> This site deals with the divorce lawyers related to thoughts on divorce cases and greater risk of divorce if the relationship eventually leads to marriage, more domestic violence,actually reduced the chance of divorce by acting as a “filter” whereby future spouses could discover whether or not they were compatible.
divorce thoughts

]]> By: Jack’s Newswatch http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-322 Jack’s Newswatch Sun, 18 Feb 2007 23:54:48 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-322 [...] Same-sex marriage is a burning issue in Canada and many other nations. In this country, it has been the subject of magazine and newspaper articles, radio and television shows, books, and, most recently, a debate in federal parliament in which members were called to vote on a motion to introduce legislation defining marriage as exclusively between a man and woman. The majority of members voted against the motion, so Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper stated that the debate was closed and would not be re-opened. Gay marriage is thus the “law of the land,” in the words of one website. [...] [...] Same-sex marriage is a burning issue in Canada and many other nations. In this country, it has been the subject of magazine and newspaper articles, radio and television shows, books, and, most recently, a debate in federal parliament in which members were called to vote on a motion to introduce legislation defining marriage as exclusively between a man and woman. The majority of members voted against the motion, so Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper stated that the debate was closed and would not be re-opened. Gay marriage is thus the “law of the land,” in the words of one website. [...]

]]> By: Emilia Liz Murphy http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-321 Emilia Liz Murphy Sun, 18 Feb 2007 18:37:20 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-321 Thank you for the comments. In response, I will say that cohabitation, as compared to legal marriage, is not for everybody (ex. people with religious and/or moral objections to it). Nor do I think it is a "solution" for divorce. Also, though in many instances cohabitation is indeed a "trial marriage," some people do enter into common-law relationships with no intention of marrying, or,in the case of gays and lesbians until recently, no possibility of marrying. So the question of "to cohabit or not to cohabit" is up to the individuals in question. Thank you for the comments.

In response, I will say that cohabitation, as compared to legal marriage, is not for everybody (ex. people with religious and/or moral objections to it). Nor do I think it is a “solution” for divorce.

Also, though in many instances cohabitation is indeed a “trial marriage,” some people do enter into common-law relationships with no intention of marrying, or,in the case of gays and lesbians until recently, no possibility of marrying.

So the question of “to cohabit or not to cohabit” is up to the individuals in question.

]]> By: Cynapse http://cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-320 Cynapse Sat, 17 Feb 2007 23:46:33 +0000 http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2007/02/17/cohabitation-the-final-frontier/#comment-320 Witchdoctor: A relationship meant to last can take any form. Cohabitation, marriage, dating etc are all artificially-created states with economic and legal implications. They provide no guarantee about the quality of relationship or its longevity. Marriage permanence was/is enforced essentially by societal threat of ostracism or death, which has nothing at all to do with spiritual enlightenment or morals. Regarding daughters, all a parent can realistically do is screen out the obvious "bad cases". And not all bad cases are obvious - you can force your daughter into the arms of a wealthy, well-spoken, highly-educated member of your exact ethnicity/religion and not let him get in more than a kiss before marriage ... but you still find out his tendency towards alcoholism or spousal abuse after it is already too late. Cohabitation at least allows a situation where it is easy to withdraw if living together goes wrong. Cohabitation is not marriage, legally, so the statistics have no more meaning than say dating vs marriage. However, in most instances one would agree that it is good to test a life-altering change before jumping right in. Most of us perform more due diligence purchasing a car. Witchdoctor:

A relationship meant to last can take any form. Cohabitation, marriage, dating etc are all artificially-created states with economic and legal implications. They provide no guarantee about the quality of relationship or its longevity. Marriage permanence was/is enforced essentially by societal threat of ostracism or death, which has nothing at all to do with spiritual enlightenment or morals.

Regarding daughters, all a parent can realistically do is screen out the obvious “bad cases”. And not all bad cases are obvious – you can force your daughter into the arms of a wealthy, well-spoken, highly-educated member of your exact ethnicity/religion and not let him get in more than a kiss before marriage … but you still find out his tendency towards alcoholism or spousal abuse after it is already too late. Cohabitation at least allows a situation where it is easy to withdraw if living together goes wrong. Cohabitation is not marriage, legally, so the statistics have no more meaning than say dating vs marriage. However, in most instances one would agree that it is good to test a life-altering change before jumping right in. Most of us perform more due diligence purchasing a car.

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