Cynics Unlimited

As anyone who follows my writing can figure out, I love kangaroos.  My habit of carrying my daughter in a “pouch” (Baby Bjorn) when she was an infant earned me the nicknames of Mama Kangaroo, Captain Kangaroo (even if the TV character was actually a man) and the Kangaroo Lady.  I’m even convinced that I was a kangaroo in a previous incarnation.  So I’ve decided to list the top 5 kangaroo sites on the Internet.

5.Ausflag: Our Own Flag (http://www.ausflag.com.au/)

Those of us who grew up in Canada in the 1960s or before might remember when the flag in our schools, public offices and other venues was the Union Jack.  Then we decided we wanted a symbol that represented us, Canada, and unfurled our now world-famous maple leaf.  But while we Canadians have ceased using the Union Jack for our national flag (though some provinces, like Ontario, do retain it on theirs), Australia hasn’t. That country’s current flag is blue with a Union Jack on the upper left-hand corner, a large star beneath the Union Jack and five stars on the other half of the flag. Today, however, many Australians have decided they too want their own flag, one that best represents their nation and its people.  And what better image to represent Australia than the kangaroo – which, by the way, already appears on the logos of a number of Australian national institutions such as the airline Qantas.

The website Ausflag suggests several ideas for a new Australian flag right here, http://www.ausflag.com.au/designs.asp.  All four are very attractive, but as you might guess, the one I like best is that in the upper right-hand corner.  This flag, which was designed by Ausflag executive director Harold Scruby, depicts a kangaroo, in silhouette against the sun, over the great red continent.  It is, in Scruby’s words, a “revolutionary rather than evolutionary” flag.  If I were Australian, I would be proud to have this beautiful animal stand for my nation on our flag.

4.Tie Me Kangaroo Down (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D-LmRNdQiQ)

This is the original kangaroo song.  It was written and performed in 1957 by Australian artist Rolf Harris, who contrary to what I initially believed is still alive today and recently performed at the Glastonbury Music Festival in England.  “Tie Me Kangaroo Down” is quite a unique song in that it uses an instrument called a wobble board, a type of keyboard that Harris designed himself and that can be heard just as the song begins.

The video includes pictures of kangaroos as well as other examples of Australia’s extraordinary wildlife, such as the koala and duckbill platypus.  It’s a song that young and old – in my family’s case, from my three-year-old daughter to my 72-year-old father – can enjoy.

3.True Blue Roos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMTyhnyAwaQ)

I deliberately listed this site right after Roo Gully for a reason.  This song was written by Australian country singer Craig Giles (see his website here at http://www.craigiles.com/). It tells the story of two kangaroos at Roo Gully named Sonny and Max.  It begins with the line “Sonny and Max are real good mates [note: ‘mates’ in the Australian sense of companions rather than romantic partners] and they call them double trouble.” And the video shows Sonny and Max indeed getting into trouble, helping themselves without permission to a bite of one of their owners’ ice cream, crawling under a parked truck, and fighting on the middle of a living room floor and promptly scurrying outside. “True Blue Roos” is a nice tune with a catchy beat you can tap your foot to. Moreover, you get to see not only the cute kangaroos but the beautiful Australian scenery on the Roo Gully resort.  By the way, Craig Giles is touring the American South this fall, so any readers from that area might consider going to see him perform there.

2.Roo Gully (http://members.iinet.net.au/~roogully/)

I wrote about the world-famous Roo Gully Wildlife Sanctuary in August of 2008 (http://www.cynicsunlimited.com/2008/08/31/roo-gully/) so I won’t go into it in great detail here.  It’s located in Boyup Brook near the city of Perth in southwestern Australia. Owner Carol Lander takes care of orphaned and injured kangaroos and other animals with the ultimate goal of releasing them back into the wild or, if that’s not feasible, providing them with an environment as similar as possible to their natural habitat.  The site contains some beautiful and interesting videos (such as that of a joey – baby kangaroo – being born) as well as the life stories of some of the various kangaroos who have made Roo Gully their home over the years.  There’s also information on donating to Roo Gully or “adopting” a kangaroo of your own.

1.Cracked.com (http://www.cracked.com/funny-2615-kangaroos/)

I was called a slut in print. Because I like Black and Hispanic men? (I joke that I share Madonna’s tastes in men but have the good sense not to keep marrying White men in a feeble attempt to “cover” myself.)  No, because I’m a kangaroo.  According to “The Opening Eye” of Cracked.com, female kangaroos are “dirty, dirty sluts.”  Apparently right after she gives birth a female kangaroo will copulate with the “first hit-n-split douchebag to buy her a Foster’s” and get pregnant again.

It gets worse.  I’m also a heartless murderer.  We’ve all heard about boxing kangaroos. Adding a bit of kick-boxing into the mix, a kangaroo is capable of delivering a “Mortal Kombat-style claw-first kick to the abdomen” of his opponent. If that doesn’t work, the kangaroo will pursue the enemy into the water and use his (the kangaroo’s) forepaws to hold the opponent underwater long enough to drown him or her.  But kangaroos have their redeeming qualities.  Baby kangaroos are “agoddamndorable.”  If you succeed in hand-rearing an orphaned one, it will instinctively cuddle up with you when you come home.  And as the author writes, who doesn’t need that after a tough day at the office?

Anyway, check out the whole story at http://www.cracked.com/funny-2615-kangaroos/ and click on “View Comments” to read my effort to defend the female of my species.  And join in the conversation yourself!