They’re the big family we love to hate – or hate to love. They’re the Duggars: Jim-Bob; his wife Michelle; their 19 children, all with names beginning with ‘j;’ and now two grandchildren (with names beginning with ‘m;’ Michelle may yet have the final word). The family recently made the news when Michelle’s latest pregnancy, at age 45, ended in a second-trimester miscarriage of a daughter they called Jubilee Shalom. But ever since the Duggars appeared on the Learning Channel in 2004, they’ve had no shortage of attention from the media or public at large. They’ve appeared in magazines and newspapers, including a scientific journal (Scientific American); on talk shows; and even on the reality TV circuit in the form of a program titled ’19 Kids and Counting.’
The Duggars tend to elicit a range of reactions, from loathing to near-worship. Some see the Duggars, who are fundamentalist Christians (Baptist), as the embodiment of all that is holy. At the other end of the spectrum lie those who view the Duggars as retrograde polluters who sport bad hairdos, strain the Earth’s resources, keep their children (especially the daughters) in indentured servitude, and conspire to dominate the world by out-breeding the not-so-godly.
I myself fall somewhere in between these two extremes. As a woman who’s deliberately chosen to have only one biological child, I find the idea of having 19 kids basically a year apart in age scary. Then again, I was puzzled by my nephew and his wife’s decision to TTC (that’s for Try To Conceive, not Toronto Transit Commission) right after their existing daughter turned a year old. At the end of the day, however, it’s the Duggars’ choice as to how many children they want to have – especially as they’re paying their own way rather than sponging off the taxpayers.* But wherever we land on the ‘love ‘em or hate ‘em’ spectrum, we can’t help but be fascinated by the Duggars. Why else would they garner so many viewers and so much commentary both positive and negative?
Much of our fascination with the Duggars stems from the fact that by having so many children, they’re outside the norm. Humans have always been intrigued by the unusual and atypical. In other words, the Duggars attract attention for the same reason that the Hensel twins or Aceves family do. (Of course I watched programs about the Aceves family because I had a raging crush on Jesus Manuel Fajardo Aceves, so I can’t exclude the possibility that some female – and perhaps a few male – viewers might feel the same way about Jim-Bob, even if he’s not my type personally.) The Duggars’ outsider status is confirmed by indications that everywhere around the globe, birth rates are falling. My own experience attests to this. During my childhood in the 1970s, the only ‘only’ children I knew were my cousin Brian, whose mom – Aunt Helen – was a single mother by choice before it became the trendy thing to do, and an adopted girl born at the tail end of the healthy white baby glut. Families of four or five children were not considered particularly gargantuan. Fast-forward three decades, though, and Canada’s birth rate, like that of most industrialized nations, is well below replacement level. As The Nation‘s Katha Pollitt writes, women today want small, planned families. People who criticize the Discovery or Learning Channels for ‘promoting overpopulation’ by featuring large families never stop to think that the Duggars wouldn’t receive a fraction of the publicity they currently do if their family size was anything close to the norm. In the grand scheme of things, Jim-Bob, Michelle and their brood are no real threat in a demographic sense.
I also suspect we’re drawn to the Duggars because they’re, well, such a wholesome family, at least on camera. Even a poster on a militantly childfree site was forced to admit that the Duggar children were better-behaved than the average kid (‘no feces smearing’). For members of the so-called Quiverfull crowd and their sympathizers – largely fundamentalist Christians and some Catholics – the Duggars are a model to emulate, aspire to, or at the very least admire from afar. But even individuals who wouldn’t necessarily throw their birth control to the wind might be attracted, in the words of Australian philosophy professor Karen Green, the image of a purer society, positively oriented towards motherhood and paternal responsibility, which the Duggars seem to project. At a time when traditional social structures (marriage, the family, etcetera) seem to be collapsing all around us, such an image might be appealing to some.
Personally, I share almost nothing with the Duggars in terms of my reproductive choices, religious beliefs, or childrearing ideals. For instance, Jim-Bob and Michelle don’t expose their children to ‘secular rock music,’ whereas I just listened to Pink’s song ‘Just Like a Pill’ with its line about a nurse ‘being a little bitch’ in the presence of my four-year-old daughter. Nonetheless, I can’t claim that the Duggars have nothing to say to me. I’m moved by their strong affection for one another. The recent funeral service for Jubilee Shalom was particularly touching – although given the reality that a high proportion of pregnancies in women over 40 end in miscarriage, it didn’t strike me as tragic as, say, a miscarriage in a woman who’d been trying to get pregnant for years. I’m also impressed by the family’s overall happiness – an elusive emotion, it seems, these days. Even some of the things on which I don’t see eye to eye with the Duggars (the Creation Museum, Michelle’s discomfort with dancing on the grounds that even King David’s dancing in the Bible ‘had consequences’) I find more amusing than anything else. And while I’m more than content in my decision to have only one child, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be ‘on the other side,’ with a whole brood rather than just one child to love. But in the end, my feelings towards the Duggars are ones of curiosity, fondness, and even a certain admiration but not hero-worship or emulation.
*I am not against welfare per se in the case of, for example, a mother of preschoolers who leaves an abusive husband or boyfriend and cannot pay for day care, but I do consider it irresponsible to deliberately have children while on social assistance.

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